+3 Ego Armor

A spiritual parable for the TTRPG enthusiast

It’s another exhausting day in the village as you head to the tavern for a drink and hope to find a quest with a decent reward. Something easy this time, please. After the last adventure, you can’t deal with another goblin ambush in the forest. You seize up as the bruise on your shoulder flares up in pain. You instinctively reach an arm over, but it connects with steel, dented from the enemy’s mace. It occurs to you to remove some of the armor and inspect the wound, but you brush the thought aside. No time to rest. I’ll just have to deal with it.

The armor is a bit too big for your small frame and covers your entire body. A large metal helmet is always worn for added protection, with just a narrow slit to see through. You trudge on towards the tavern carrying the heavy weight. A group of children run past, giggling and playing. One of them turns back to look at you curiously, taking in the awkward sight. He begins to point and laugh and the others follow his lead. Ignore them. They don’t understand. They eventually run ahead and leave you alone. They are only village peasants anyway. You, on the other hand, are an adventurer. One day, they’ll see.

Almost there. You stop as a parade of marching soldiers cut off your path. They are escorting a caravan with what appears to be a wealthy noble. Through the open curtain of an ornately designed carriage, you see a man resting comfortably in a regal position, with his arms crossed, eyes closed and a calm smile on his face. He has it all. Indeed, he has plenty of gold and many of the villagers’ respect for he was once a renowned adventurer. Maybe I’ll try and take on a bigger quest this time. I have to keep pushing.

You finally make it to the tavern. The sun is now setting behind the western hillside. Where did the day go? As you approach you can hear the muffled sounds of music and shouting. Sigh. You were hoping for a quieter night. As you peek into the window, you see a disturbing sight; drunken men clinking their mugs of ale and laughing uproariously, couples dancing together joyously, families eating voraciously. You decide to rest in the nearby stable. With the armor on of course. Don’t they understand? A dragon could come at any moment.

For fans of fantasy roleplaying games, this story should hopefully sound absurd. After all, the danger present in a fantasy world is part of the fun, isn’t it? The point here is that we tend to treat reality the way this adventurer treats the D&D fantasy world. We don’t need to go so far as to say that life is just a game. We can simply see that within the rules and logic of D&D, this player is not in alignment with their own goals. Let’s go into this a bit.

First of all, the adventurer is obviously wearing armor they are not proficient in. While armor offers great protection, it gives them disadvantage on ability checks, saving throws, and attack rolls that involve Strength or Dexterity and takes away their ability to cast spells. So great defense comes at a significant cost. But even worse, heavy armor interferes with the the wearer’s ability to move quickly, stealthily and freely. And if that wasn’t bad enough, this individual chooses to sleep in the armor as an extra precaution, which prevents them from completing a long rest and recovering hit points and exhaustion levels.

This is clearly an unwise strategy. Even if a dragon were to come, what use would they be in a fight? What is the point of operating this way if one is not actually prepared for the real danger when it strikes? Like this, many of us go through life with a burdensome ego. We bring ourselves to the point of depression and exhaustion by living in a state of constant fear. We are constantly striving to get somewhere to feel secure and fulfilled, through material possession or social status. And yet we’re unaware that the driving force behind these pursuits is fear. Fear of being unworthy. Of not having enough. Of not being enough.

It is a common misconception that spiritual enlightenment is something one acquires as a kind of special prize in life, some profound insight greater than any material possession. This understanding is actually no different than the adventurer who believes their fulfillment will be found in acquiring enough gold or renown. True spiritual wisdom is actually just a very simple pointer. It’s completely practical.

Take off the armor.

We are constantly burdened by our own fears and by our endless striving to uphold some image of ourselves as special. Much like the adventurer, we cannot see clearly through our narrow lens. We cannot feel the sun on our skin. We cannot dance. We cannot move freely and lightly in the world. We are worn down by our own self narratives, the repeating thoughts that tell us we are not good enough, or that the present moment is not enough. We do not allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the world, to each moment, and therefore cannot fully appreciate this human experience.

Spiritual enlightenment is nothing special. It’s what we already are underneath our ego armor. The spiritual message is simply a reminder, a pointer to the silliness of our situation. There’s nothing mystical about it. It’s even more practical than the modern “rational” mind which always believes fulfillment can only be found in the future through the acquisition of something, material or otherwise. The ego is always in a battle-ready stance with the present moment, treating it as an obstacle to be overcome rather than an opportunity to live fully.

There’s no need. Let go.

Take off the armor.

“But that’s not practical”, you might say in protest. I would challenge you on that. Is it really practical to live life the way most do? In a state of chronic stress, which just means chronic fear and which leads to all kinds of mental and physical illnesses? Is this truly practical? The quest for more is approaching life in the wrong direction. Whether it’s more money, more respect, more pleasure, more security. More, more, more. It is the inward journey that is guaranteed to lead to fulfillment. The outward journey inevitably leads to exhaustion and misery.

Take off the armor.

And live fully in the present moment.

We can stop trying to resolve our problems by addition and instead heal ourselves by subtraction. Not necessarily by ridding ourselves of our possessions, but by removing our attachments to them as the hope for our salvation. Salvation is only ever found in the inner world, that deeper reality behind the superficial fear and anxiety that seem to cloud one’s mind all the time.

Seek within and find a treasure greater than a dragon’s hoard of platinum.

Take off the armor.

And live fearlessly.